What defines my decision making.

I'm going to share with you five separate stories that have affected me at different phases throughout my entire life. I am going to share the stories in the order that they happened.

I'm guessing that I was 20 years old, and my girlfriend and I were driving around downtown St. Joseph. We drove past what at that point was the museum on Charles Street. It was snowing and beginning to accumulate. I happened to notice a man sitting on his front steps in the snow. I told my girlfriend, "Maybe we should go around my block and make sure he is okay?" We were traveling north on 13th Street, approaching Charles Street. The man was right around the corner. As we approached the intersection, we both heard a gunshot that was really close to where we were. As soon as we turned the corner, the man that we were going to check on was now slumped over on his right side at the top of his porch steps. The snow that had a human imprint to the right of him was now red. He had taken his own life with a shotgun. He shot himself in the head. We later learned that he was living with painful terminal cancer and he wanted it to end. The decision to go back around and check on a fellow citizen did not end well at all.

This next story I am going to share helped me to form on-the-spot quick decision-making abilities. I believe the year was either 1999 or 2000. I was living alone in an apartment at 119 Parkwood Street, apartment A, towards the south end. 119 Parkwood Street, apartment B, was the apartment behind me. My bedroom wall and the living room wall of that apartment separated the two apartments. There was a young couple who had recently moved into apartment B with their infant child. I was lying in my bedroom one evening, and I could hear the infant crying. The baby was there with the father. I could hear through the wall as the father was becoming very agitated at the baby for crying. He began to yell at the baby to stop crying. I knew at that point I was going to make a hotline report. Then the most absolute unthinkable and horrifying event took place. I heard a loud, forceful bang or thump against my bedroom wall. The baby instantly stopped crying. The father had thrown this infant against the wall so hard that it caused seven skull fractures along with other broken bones. I instantly dialed 911. And I felt so guilty that I had only decided to make a hotline call. The baby did survive; however, she is, from my understanding, in a vegetative state. If I remember correctly, I believe her name was Victoria. The following night, news crews from Kansas City were knocking at my door. They wanted to interview me, wanting to hear from my perspective what I heard and experienced. I absolutely declined their interview. My heart was heavy for that little baby. If only I had made the decision to call 911 instead of waiting to make a report, Victoria could be living a healthy, normal life right now. I think about her and pray for her almost daily.

This third story that I am about to share has made the greatest impact on my decision-making ability and speed. I am pretty sure it was 2012, and I was in the final stages of obtaining my Class A CDL driving license. Maybe I already had it, and I just needed 40 hours behind the wheel; I don't quite remember. But nevertheless, I was traveling the nation in a purple semi with a mentor. We were in Arizona, heading to Lake Arrowhead to make a delivery and pick up another. My mentor was behind the wheel, and I was in the passenger seat. When we made our final turn towards Lake Arrowhead, I instantly noticed an RV camper on the opposite shoulder with smoke coming from the front right steer tire. We were close enough; I could definitely see flames coming around the hood from where the passenger tire was burning. I told my mentor that we needed to stop. We were the first on the scene, and it is the law. Maybe somebody is inside the RV. His decision was that everything was just fine; we're on a schedule. I told him he needed to stop, and we needed to at least check. We were equipped with fire extinguishers and load locks that would have been perfect for breaking out windows. He insisted it was not our duty. That's when I made my first decision: this was one dirty ass piece of shit who only cared about the money he was making. I told him he needed to pull over. I wanted to get off of his truck. People need to calm down, so that after we get reloaded, he will drop me off at the nearest terminal. We were at Lake Arrowhead for what I would guess was two hours, getting unloaded and loaded. As we headed back out the same road we came in on, the traffic was backed up significantly. It was at a complete standstill. A sense of anger and pure rage was about to consume me. One of the emergency vehicles headed or directed in the opposite lane was that of the medical examiner. I told that motherfucker to get his ass out of that truck right now. You have absolutely no right to be operating a commercial vehicle, you fat-ass, greedy piece of shit. I'm personally going to beat the shit out of you like no one has ever been beaten. I wasn't certain of the severity of the RV accident. It was a complete burned-out shell at this point. The initial fire started on the right front steer tire, and the flames and heat were too intense for the three people inside the RV and their pet to escape. A grandfather and their 15-year-old granddaughter were headed back home from Lake Arrowhead when their tire blew out and caught fire, trapping them and a pet dog inside the RV. All three humans and their pet dog were about to burn alive, and God placed me 15 or 20 feet away only to let someone else make a life-ending decision for three humans. When we arrived at the terminal, we were both interviewed by driver investigators. I was sent home to grieve and advised that I would benefit from anger management classes. He was placed right back on the road driving for the same company. If God somehow allows us to cross paths, this is one man that I will beat the living tar out of. No questions, no talking, no apologies; he made me very, very angry. I made the right decision to try and stop, but his wrong decision trumped mine. That will never, ever happen again.

This next story occurred in the year 2013. For some reason, and I do not remember why, I found myself on the psych unit at Mosaic Life Care with a 96-hour hold. While I was in the psych unit, I met a really bubbly and friendly female. We would pace the halls on the unit together, learning about each other. I think I was getting released before her, and we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to continue our friendship outside of the hospital. I was living in Craig, Missouri, because I was driving a semi daily to Nebraska and then Kansas City and back. She was living at Bliss Manor in St. Joseph. She was a victim of domestic abuse. We didn't start dating, but we did hang out with each other quite a bit. She even came up to Craig, Missouri, and spent some time with me there. I would go to her apartment and visit with her. We were becoming pretty good friends. I had made plans to go to her apartment and take a shower because it made more sense than traveling all the way to Craig, Missouri. I sent her a message but did not receive a response. I did not hear from my friend for the next couple of days. I remember very well that I was walking up 9th Street right by the post office, and my phone rang. I answered the phone, and the person on the other end identified himself as a homicide investigator from St. Joseph. He wanted to know when the last time I saw my friend was. He also wanted to know if I could identify property from her apartment. I let him know it had been a few days since I last saw her. I asked him if she was okay. He let me know he could not discuss that with me. I let him know that I could probably identify her property. It was on the news the following morning that my friend had been discovered inside a makeshift coffin near a faucet in Pigeon Creek. Some of her property was placed in the cardboard casket with her. They had suspects already in custody. The suspects were both homeless and were at her apartment to do drugs. One of the men gave her an IV of methamphetamine that exploded in her heart. They tried to dispose of her body and cover their tracks. Had I made the decision not to wait for her phone call and just shown up at her apartment for my shower, if somehow I could have been at the right place and right time to save her life... Some decisions that you have to make come from your gut instinct. Those are the decisions to act on quickly. I miss you to this day, Tangela. May your bubbly and friendly soul rest in peace for all eternity.

This final story occurred in the year 2016, I believe. I used to absolutely love going to the nature trail by Remington Nature Center. I would walk along the banks of the river, looking for any little treasures that might have been left behind by the fishermen. During the springtime, I could collect mushrooms. It was in the spring that I was walking along the river, and I noticed a dead deer lying partially covered with brush along the bank. When I walked past the deer, I could not help but notice that the river must have worn away all of its form. It was swollen and was blue and purple in color. I walked right past what I thought was a deer carcass. It was about three days later that I returned to the hiking trail. This time, the trail was closed by the police department. There was yellow caution tape preventing hikers from using the trail. I asked someone if they knew what was going on. They told me that a couple of mushroom hunters had found the body of a deceased homeless man on the banks of the river. The body had been there for a while. There was no doubt in my mind that what I saw as a deer was in fact a human body. I made a decision not to investigate further when I spotted what I had seen. And had I investigated just a little more, the body of the deceased man would have been recovered three days earlier.

Decisions that you make or you do not make can have a great impact on your life. Today, when it's time for me to make a decision, if at all possible, I will make my decision very quickly. And I will always stand behind the decision that I make. Quick decision-making can save lives. Not being afraid to assert yourself when you know for a fact that you have the better decision does not at all make you a bad person. Decisions can come from your gut, they can come from thoughts, they can come from evidence, but most importantly, when given the chance to make a decision, go ahead and make it because more than likely nobody else will. I have no problem in today's world making an executive decision that I feel will benefit others.